May 23rd, 2010

It was a Saturday and I was woken by my clock alarm of my cell phone. I didn’t want to open my eyes yet, I wanted to feel the sun on my face just like tree days before; the sun raising and a broom light enter from my window, right beside my bed the lamp, my pile of Mexican coins from a trip last year and a crucifix; at the front I have my desk with last term’s exams, my essay for health and a Sponge Bob lamp just in case the other one went death.  I wanted to sleep more but a real creepy lightning and a strenuous sound make my eyes open, for a moment I didn’t felt like it was morning, there was not a sign of sun, the light of the garage was steel on and I could see the white light pointing to the street just like last night. I took my cell phone, enter my password and saw the date, it was May 23^rd of 2010, 7:46 am.

You know, when it’s raining and the sky is all bleary and diffusing like a TV with no signal, the last thing you want to do is to get up from the bed, but this day, it was so bad and sad, I couldn’t stay in the bed for a long time. Is weird how the weather decides your mood, I’m not superficial or god of weather believer but I can remember I began to feel lazy, really tired and with no enthusiasm to do anything ; for the first time I wanted to stay at my house, get a shower and see a movie not exactly happy. All this thoughts passed through my mind while looking at my window hoping to see the grass from my back yard, I saw my watch and it was 9:30 am. I went to see how the other members of the house were doing, I mean my family. I enter to my sister’s room and I found her sleep like normal, she sleeps to much let me tell, sometimes I even think if she is really breathing, if she is, well, I will be disappointed…just kidding, maybe she is just hibernate. Anyways, I proceed to my parent’s room and they have already left to work, the bed was made and their bathroom  smelling like shampoo and soap with little drops of vapor from the hot water on the walls. I went downstairs and looked up at the sealing; part of the sealing is made of glass and I was nothing but gray, and then I thought “it’s going to be a depressing day” I finish the stairs and went to the kitchen for something to eat, for breakfast there were scrambled eggs with beans and cream cheese, toast bread and orange juice. I was seriously hungry, I had an excuse and it was because of the weather and since my sister was hibernating I ate her plate also.

Thanking God for the food, I had a sudden thought and I asked to myself “I’m eating like nothing is happening outside my house, my food is served and I’m thanking God as always, but, right now someone is asking God for food or even worst asking God for a place to stay the rest of the day while the hurricane decreases.” I felt really guilty and really sad, I appetite run away and instead of just thanking, I began to pray, pray really loud in my heart so that God could hear me.  How lucky I was for been at a solid place with a roof, food, shelter and heat.  I remember I was having a friend’s 15^th birthday party, she didn’t call to cancel, and the party was steel going through so I dress up, my parents came to pick me up but they were really scared of going out and I just remember my mom said to me “I will just drive you a mile from here just so you notice the disaster and chaos out there” 100 meters from my house, the sudden thoughts I was thinking back at my house became reality.

 Landscapes totally damage and destroyed, water running out like rivers on the street, lots of trees blocking the main avenue to San Jose Pinula, people covering themselves with newspaper, a thin sweater or a bag from a supermarket; Cars stoking in the middle of the street, people knocking and yelling and the worst part, no public illumination. I told my mom to turn the car and go back home and she did. How can I go to a party and celebrate, while other thousands of people were crying because they just lost their home, have a missing children or worst finding someone dead. My heart went like a nut, broken and open. I was really feeling the deepest and depressing feeling I had never felt before, when it gets you, it gets you hard. I was feeling lucky, but thought I didn’t deserve it. I was feeling save, but thought like the world was about to end. I was feeling thankful, but thought I wasn’t demonstrating it. One thing I know, I was feeling faith, and thought there was hope.